New year thoughts

So… is your New Year going? Every New Year is filled with hope for new beginnings and changes. Isn’t it? Ok, maybe I feel like that for a few days after the New Year. 

Halfway through the first month and instead I’m feeling restless and reflective. Before Christmas, redundancies were announced at work and this has made me reflect on many things. I am ready for change but find myself a bit afraid to make it I admit! 
Over the last few weeks I have been discussing the future with many people. I have also been talking to a few people around me who have decided to bite the bullet and make positive, life changing decisions. During these conversations I’ve often found myself talking while another part of my brain has been whispering “are you listening to your own words? You should follow your own advice” 
Today I have woken up feeling particularly pensive and have found myself wondering why it seems so easy to support other people.  I find it easier to highlight the strengths in others but can’t find those kind words for myself.  I look at  these individuals and admire their courage. While I am with them I quietly think maybe I could do the same; take the risk and leap of faith yet in the cold light of day my logic presents me with many reasons why I shouldn’t. 
You see – life has become a routine. I know each month our bills will be paid and a roof will be over our heads. I know what to expect and while there are no challenges, there aren’t any nasty surprises either.  Maybe that’s why I crave creativity again. I love the challenge of translating ideas from my mind to make them a reality.  

One of my latest creations – I love it when the reality turns out even better than my imagination. 

What I have realised is that I don’t want to pass this on to my children. My wish for them is to run towards adventure, to know that they are always enough and to instill in them a deep knowing and trust that whatever they face in life they can survive, that the universe will provide for them whatever happens. I want them to love themselves and talk to themselves as if they are their own best friend.  I hope that my nurturing those skills in my daughters, I can slowly nurture them in me too. 

What is your wish for your children/family and for 2014?
‘Til next time, 
Love Toni xx 

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