Onesie on and glass of wine in hand I am welcoming a relaxing Friday night. I don’t know how long I will last but I am determined to enjoy a bit of time with my husband! Long gone are the days I enjoy a night out at the weekend but I’ve made my peace with that.
It’s been a tough week. Many of you will know that I am currently being tested by my youngest and her stubborn sleep patterns! 4am should not be anyone’s wake up time… Despite my very best efforts she refuses to give in and something’s got to give.
This has seemed to have coincided with mock week at work. Swimming through treacle may have been easier than it was to complete my pile of marking!
At the end of all these events, I am exhausted. I feel guilty that I’ve been distracted and too tired to give my children the attention they deserve. In addition to that I feel agitated.
I started Dollies when, after Bella was born, I almost became addicted to creating. While I was creating, I rediscovered a feeling of calm and peace inside. I suddenly remembered whet it was like to become so engrossed in something that hours seemed to fly by.
Granted, my agitation, frustration and heightened emotion may have been down to sleep deprivation (I completely understand why it is a form of torture!) but I also have an inkling it may be a result of having no me time – time to connect with my other half and no time to create.
I would never neglect my children- ever. Tell me then, why is it so easy to neglect myself? I desperately miss creating (even if I miss being creative for a day) yet I don’t plan my day/week to ensure I’ve got a balance of all things.
While cooking dinner the other day, I sketched some ideas for a commission I’m working on. I only spent 10 minutes on it while I was waiting for some pasta to cook but the effect it had was undeniable. I felt happy, content and full of energy and ideas.
So my pledge is to do one creative thing a day. Even if it only takes me five minutes, for my sanity and to be the best person and mother I can be, I have to find a balance in my life and treat myself with the same respect, love and kindness I give to my precious children.