Are numbers just numbers?

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It’s been a few days since my last post and I am so touched by the responses I have received from it.  You will never know how timely they were.  There are many days when I feel as though I am on the right track and that I am where I am meant to be and then there are the other days when that inner voice is questioning everything I do and I feel like I ought to just give it all up.

Starting off on a new venture is hard.  You want to pursue something you love doing, that you are passionate about and yet all of a sudden there is so much more to learn and consider. You have questions, you have doubts and lots of to do lists.  You have ideas buzzing round in your head, you sit and create something that you are really proud of yet to show that to the world seems like the scariest thing.

What if no one likes it?

What if no one buys it?

What if it’s all for nothing?

One thing that holds me back in life (not just my creative life!) is looking at others, comparing myself to them and thinking I should do what they do.  It is so easy to look at other businesses and see everything I am not doing, to see how great their work is.

This is where I was the other day when I wrote my last blog. I was wondering whether I’d made a mistake starting all this. I was obsessing over what the ‘magic ingredient’ was that I still needed be as popular as others. I was looking at other people and I could not compete.  Then some of you lovely lot got in touch and talked about how much the last blog meant or discussed your similar experiences and in a heartbeat the numbers didn’t seem to matter anymore.

I realised that I could have a business where I made things that I knew would sell. I could have a facebook page where I ticked all the right boxes.  I could have a blog where I sat and wrote all the things I think you want to hear, all the things that sound clever. I could dance that magic dance but I won’t.  If I did that I wouldn’t be happy. I wouldn’t be learning and I certainly would not want to continue with Dollies. Most of all I wouldn’t be finding so much out about myself. I wouldn’t be pushing my limits and stepping out of my comfort zone.

I realised that I am on a journey and if there are people that want to join me, to read my blog then that is fantastic – I would love to continue to share these experiences and all I am learning. I would love to know that some of my work has gone to a good home. For now, I am trying to remember that numbers are just numbers. They don’t guarantee success or happiness but if I receive only one piece of feedback like the feedback I received earlier this week it makes it all worthwhile and I know I am doing something right.

Go me! 😉

Until next time,

Toni xx

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