Failing to prepare….preparing to fail

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So here we are in June. I don’t know about you but I am seriously wondering where the time has gone since New Year. It doesn’t seem two minutes since we were celebrating the New Year and the possibilities and hope that comes with it.

It’s been a lovely six months where Dollies is concerned. Having my youngest in 2012 meant I didn’t touch my work or page for well over a year. I was unwell and overwhelmed by the culture shock that is suddenly having two children. Not the best business practice but I just couldn’t do it – and everyday I beat myself up about it. This year has felt like a new start – I have developed my fan base, networked, developed my products and began preparing.

Preparing for what you may be asking. For me, in life, I usually aim to prepare yet being a person who completes things when there is the pressure of a deadline I have a tendency to procrastinate.

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It’s not good. It doesn’t make me feel good but I’m learning that maybe I do it subconsciously because it allows me to criticise myself once again. If I was achieving, if I was ahead of schedule and working hard I would have to congratulate myself – something which doesn’t always come easily to me.

But….as they say, failing to prepare is preparing to fail. I am slowly breaking the habits of a lifetime and moving forward.

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I am sketching new ideas, preparing material, cutting shapes and creating items. I am making a start on Christmas orders and festive ideas.

Despite this preparation, I am finding there’s a part of me who wants to run with it all. I want to sign up for every craft fair, say yes to every opportunity and sew, sew, sew. I am pulled by my creativity and yet I am anchored by real life. I am anchored by reality – by motherhood, by the need to move house, by my day job.

So at the moment I am preparing and finding a balance. I am feeling all the things those actions bring: excitement, frustration, happiness and despondency. As much as I want to run ahead, I am (yet again) trying to be patient and reminding myself that everything will fall into place when the time is right.

Until next time,

Toni x

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